A Broken Heart

Alone. Humiliated. Shocked. Scared. Disgusted. Betrayed. Uncontrollable.

Imagine feeling these emotions and then your body begins giving up on you…. groaning with pain, so nauseaus that you are gagging even actually vomiting, have so many tears you are certain you are going to die of dehydration, legs so weak that you are holding onto the wall or counter for support, walking around with little to no sleep.

I mean shit, how much can one person withstand.

Doesn’t matter what brought you here, a lost of a soul, a job..whatever it may be. You are heartbroken; literally feel your heart breaking and wishing that you had the ability to reach inside your chest and just hold it.

You guys this is a serious condition even spoken of by The American Heart Association. http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/Conditions/More/Cardiomyopathy/Is-Broken-Heart-Syndrome-Real_UCM_448547_Article.jsp#mainContent

B-A-N-A-N-A-S

You know what though relish in this feeling. This means that you are alive; you genuinely loved someone else. You got to a place where many can’t. Relish in this.

So now what?

Know that we can not control what happens, but we can control what you do with it. Yes you can keep busy, but what you need to do is use your optimism.

❤Remember, you are never completely alone, as long as you are true to the person in the mirror.

❤Know that you will come out of this stronger & wiser.

❤Remember, you will get over it. Happiness will come, it just takes strength, a lil selfishness and patience.

❤Remember it’s okay to not forget. Like a sprained foot, it’s healed & you can walk but when the weather is cold or the thunderstorm arrives; you feel it again.. temporarily.

After all, a broken heart is treatable.

XO -JC

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Words

The tongue has no bones, but is strong enough to break a heart. Well shit, ain’t this the truth.

Simply put, words are game changers because once said they can be forgiven but never forgotten.

Words can impact people in many places…the soul, the heart, the mind and not just on the surface of each but into the extreme core of these places.

Words can create the most incredible feeling, whether incredibly beautiful or incredibly hurtful. We all remember our parents, teachers, family saying:
“Think before you speak”
“If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all”

Words are so powerful.

I used to be a strong believer of saying what you think whether negative or positive because holding back will only hurt you in the long run.
Now I’m not sure if I agree anymore; maybe some thoughts and some feelings should be left unsaid.

My new rule: IS IT NECESSARY?

Words…. a fruit or a poison, you choose.

xo -JC

Falling

Falling in LOVE is so dope.  Falling out of it is horrible. 

I have fallen and it’s been quick.  I give people the benefit of the doubt…I start off with full trust with my heart on my sleeve.  I hate it about myself.  BUT -I do it without even knowing I am doing it. 

It’s possible that because of the falling IN is like this that the falling OUT can happen without much looking back. It makes me start to question everything from day 1. It keeps me from being able to focus on the good and not the bad. I also hate this about myself.

I’m pretty good about analyzing myself, being honest about what I discover and expressing it BUT this confuses me.

Trust is supposed to be built so why do I give it so freely.

Love is supposed to grow over time so why do I let the “honeymoon” stage” take over my normal HIGHLY rational mind.

Maybe I am a hopeless romantic. Or just bipolar. Or just haven’t found the one to KEEP me IN LOVE. If I could choose my diagnosis…I choose the latter.

xo -JC