If I was a frog I’d be alone on my tadpole when it came to parenting. I know that we all parent different, I don’t judge you but shit you sure as hell judge me. Is it because I am not married to her father? Maybe is it because you are just a judgmental prick, more likely. I parent with common sense. Can you say the same?

I was never that person who thought of being a parent, honestly never even crossed my mind but then I got pregnant. I can’t even remember the emotion I was feeling but my partner was great and I knew that our families would be great and I was financially able to so I said… let’s do this! Yes, there was a lot more thought into it but why bore you with all that.

I look at my daughter and can’t believe I grew her in my belly.. I feel this overwhelming emotion of love for her. This happens about once a day and it’s the favorite part of my day. And us as parents see our child as perfect in our eyes but come on, they are far from perfect, just as we are. They are human, you know – we didn’t create them out of bells & glitter so guess what (drumroll) YOUR CHILD IS NOT PERFECT. Remember this as you keep reading.

Have you ever thought why us as adults are able to have a bad day, but we don’t let kids have these days? This is silly, we have cranky moods, we get tired, we have moods that come with disrespectful tones, we have our own opinions; yet our children can’t? Stop holding your child to a higher standard that you can’t even reach yourself! Realize that your child has their own personality; not yours. We as their parent should understand that sometimes your child’s personality doesn’t match your own but guess what… you as the adult need to DEAL WITH IT. Change yourself to mold them how their personality needs to be molded, loved & cared for.

Let me tell you how I have parented thus far and how I plan to continue to parent.

I will give her the freedom to express all her emotions, yes this could be embarrassing; can include tantrums, yelling, etc… you know the things that would make others and even yourself think “oh wow that kid is a fucking brat”.

I will allow her to make her own choices. As we know our own choices lead to responsibility.

I want her to express herself; her likes, dislikes, wants and needs. I mean this is something that she’ll be doing the rest of her life why not get her used to it; aren’t that what parents are suppose do ..prepare the children to live?

I’m not going to shelter her to get her there, I’m not going to keep her from reality happening. Whether it’s the pains of reality or the joy of reality. She will not be sheltered.

I will give her the freedom to make the best choice for herself. She will learn her own lessons.

I will give her the comfort to speak to me about her feelings, her hurts, her disappointments… her life.

I will answer her questions honestly and with patience.

Doing the above will assure her that she can handle ANYTHING that life throws at her and will give her the skills she needs to do exactly that.

My biggest fear is being oblivious to my children’s sufferings as my parents were to mine… my ultimate goal is to be her safe haven, her place to talk freely about anything whether it breaks my heart and makes me want to crawl in a hole or not.

I’m not someone who prays but I do hope & wish when it comes to my daughter. I hope to demonstrate her inner peace, the importance of an open mind & I wish for her to be happy with herself no matter what.

I am “that kind” of parent.

XO -JC