Not sure what is the first thing that comes to your mind when seeing that title…but mine is YIKES.
I don’t even mean it in a relationship only…you can be unfaithful in many aspects of life. For sake of this writing..let’s talk about relationships between two people.
Real people stay faithful; they don’t have time to look for others because they’re too busy looking for new ways to love their own. Sounds heavenly doesn’t it? I’m different. I feel that a person can love you and still cheat. Don’t you love God, Jehovah, Allah..whoever and still sin? LIKELY.
Also did that person cheat because you were neglectful to them in some way? That’s a hard one to admit and yes we want someone that can say no to temptation but why would that person want to say no if you are fucking up?
What I do believe is that if a person is IN LOVE with someone they can’t and won’t cheat..and if they can they were never IN LOVE; just thought they were…or that person is just PHENOMENALLY TWISTED. Maybe the person didn’t want to be alone? Or it helped with their ego? Or maybe their miserable life needed something new? SIMPLY SAID…
You do not DESTROY people you love and being unfaithful can destroy someone.
So what is being unfaithful? What is cheating?
We all can define both of these differently. It’s not just physical in my eyes. There could be emotional unfaithfulness and cheating. I’m sure we’ve all said “I’d rather you fuck once then carry something further”. No, you’ve never have. Well pat yourself on the back and know you are boring. JK. Not really.
So not to get into it too much. But if you are in a relationship and if you have to delete text messages -that’s a problem, if you have to lock your phone when the other is around -that’s a problem. Does it mean you are cheating no. But you doing something you aren’t supposed to be doing…so you aren’t faithful.
Ok so now it happened to you…Now what?
I know that to me “I’m sorry” isn’t much of anything, it’s a statement. It’s me who trusted you so it was my mistake..not yours. That’s honestly how I feel. Anyone that knows me…knows I say “Don’t apologize” a lot. It’s useless to me.
I’d prefer a “I won’t do it again” or even better “how can I make it up to you”. That puts responsibility back on them. That’s just me…and remember, I’m different.
Now I know what you want…you want me to tell you if this has ever happened to me, how this ties to my own experience.
I have been cheated on -from what I know emotionally only which again in my eyes is WORSE. What did I do…I gave him another chance. Why? Because of our daughter. How many times? Once.
I was also cheated on by a lie. A lie of “that door is closed. There is nothing there” that person was more unfaithful to themselves than to me. What did I do…I haven’t decided.
xo – JC