Sociopath, Not Vulnerable, a Lil Girl…

These are just a few ways I’ve been described in the past few hours…yes hours.  What in the entire fuck and please back the fuck down is my gut reaction.

Its funny that men are the ones that describe me this way…all 3 have been cheated on in their own past relationships.  Coincidence?  I think not.  But let me not turn into them, judgmental name callers. 

Don’t get me wrong…and if y’all have read my previous posts you know my past hasn’t been great. First thing I say when asked about my previous romantic relationships I say “lucky”.  Lucky because I’ve never been mistreated,  disrespected,  fake loved, etc….not lucky because these men were perfect or because they didn’t lie.  That happened but over silly stupid things but things I’m not okay (100k debt, fear of standing up for themself, controlling) with -so yes I tried to overlook them because they were “good” guys but once I really got to know them the passion died.

This is normal I hear.  I hear…passion dies.  You CHOOSE to be with this person anyway because you love or loveD them before.  Or you stay because of kids, family approval, monetary stability, fear of being alone -the list can go forever.  I won’t do that. 

Sociopath is defined as: a person, as a psychopath, whose behavior is antisocial and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience

I am so damn social. I have moral responsibilities and a conscience…so much that if you ask any of my past men they would say “she warned me”. I care about everyone even strangers. I’ve never cheated. The worse you could say is I speak and don’t live up to that. But fuck…that wasn’t my own doing. They did something that made me put walls up or lose faith, trust. Once walls are up….its hard to get them down. I don’t think impossible though.

The right person won’t make me put walls up or if they are up…they will bring them down brick by brick but not by judging me or comparing me to the basic ladies. Ones that need a man for survival. That is not and will not ever be me. And I like that.


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