I’ve come across a lot of blogs, quotes, status updates lately…that basically say “find someone who loves like you”. Now usually, I don’t even give it a thought but lately I have been and seem to agree with it. Hear me out.
I wholeheartedly feel a big part of the fun in a relationship are the differences. You know that whole “Where you lack, I pick up” or “What you don’t know, I teach you” and “lets have a naked debate” (don’t judge me) excitement. All of that is fun, even the talking through and learning new things from it times and yes I still think that applies to a lot of things in a relationship but not when it comes to HOW you love.
There isn’t a right way to love someone…just different ways, unique ways… YOUR way. And when I really think about it, I believe that when people in a relationship do not love the same, chances are, they won’t understand each other. If they don’t understand each other and spend more time trying to do that than enjoying it, the downhill slope is inevitable.
For example, what if one loves through action and not through words but that’s how the other loves. Actions speak louder than words (says the popular vote) but what if actions can’t be done because the other isn’t getting the words of affirmation needed to make them WANT to act?
Or what if one risks it all for sake of the relationship, for the sake of love but the other just soaks it up instead of reciprocating. Then the one that gave it all… begins to resent or just gets to the max and drops it all off the shoulders, what then? If the other isn’t the type to carry it, it’s going to die, that’s what.
Firsthand knowledge has taught me that if you love differently you’ll constantly bump heads, someone’s needs and wants won’t be met, simple things that shouldn’t affect the bond now do, things that would normally be overlooked are now magnified. Giving examples will lend y’all too much insight on my life but you’re intelligent, I know you get what I’m saying.
And yes accept others how they are but when it comes to love, there are expectations even from the most liberal, understanding, optimistic person. Love is so fragile that it requires expectations.
I’m now (for today) a believer of finding someone who loves like you love. Good luck ☺