Half An Empath

What is an empath?   I best describe it as the entering another’s person’s feeling and emotions intuitively at times.  My therapist said it’s a horrible trait but one that you can’t help and takes a lot of work to manage (I hate work).   Think of a sponge – you absorb other’s emotion and…

That One Question

Yes it took me a while to open up, yes I’m still not okay but something happened the other day when I was asked a question. A question that hit me so deep this time and I say this time because this question was nothing to me before, in the past I would answer to…

Vulnerability

I recently read someone’s take on vulnerability and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. The irony that he wrote about vulnerability while being raw and true in the writing was vulnerable on it’s own. He took me through the reality of opening up and being rewarded by being looked at like you…

Hiding, Changing or Whatever

First, let’s paint the picture…five girls sitting around the dinner table, friends for over 20 years. It had been about five months since we last all got together so of course the mama bear of the group asked the question to all of us – “so what’s new with you”. I purposely moved by position…

Tired

I’m tired, tired to the point where my knees get weak and I feel as if they will just fold under me without warning.  My public façade is good, Oscar-worthy even but I’m not “fake”, I’m surviving.  I know what you’re thinking, am I reading about her being tired.  Yes –  you are.  But this…

2016

Since the summer of 2016 I’ve been hiding, lying, avoiding, hating… you know all those things that you learn as a school age child to not do.  I’m disappointed about it, disappointed at myself for doing this for so long.  But let me explain – please.  Let me explain why I hid, why I lied…

Healing

When will I stop thinking about it?  When will I be able to see something and it not bring flashbacks?  just when? How will I get over it?  How will I be able to move on?  just how? Likely never.  Sorry to tell you but depending on the depth of the pain, it may be…

Just Because

Just because her body protected her… doesn’t mean she wanted it.  Self-lubrication is the vagina’s natural reaction to prevent pain. Just because she let you into her home, into her bed, into her heart… doesn’t mean you had permission to go into her vagina. Just because the skirt was short, the cleavage was out… doesn’t…

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A word that shocks, a word that hurts, a word that shames, a word that attacks…so why speak on it?  Simply…because it’s necessary.  It has been proved that it in order to heal the “act” needs to be acknowledged then addressed. Every day is filled fighting battles; battles that no one knows about because you…

Twenty Sixteen

On the eve of the new year, I paid and renewed this blog.  I waited for the last day with the countdown telling me I had 11 hours to renew or lose it forever. I debated with it, I started reading my old posts and realized this shit is therapeutic.  Just writing and not caring…