The title says it all… that’s how I would probably describe myself. Take it how you want it. No need to be humble or scared of the word chaotic.
I say DELIGHTFULLY because I’m fun to be with. I am always laughing, giving out compliments, breaking out in dance, try to understand instead of judge, I LOVE to eat, I have simple needs.
CHAOTIC comes because inside I could be a mess…sad, angry, etc but a lot of yous wouldn’t see that. I keep so much pain inside myself, the anger, the loneliness all of the things that cause pain. Why? I wish I knew…is it because I feel like I deserve the pain? That’s possible. But why would I think I deserve pain. Have I caused pain to people without knowing? But I remain DELIGHTFUL. LOL – Lord… let me stop.
I keep that negativity inside for the most part, unless I’m super close to you then it would come out. So am I “faking” … I say no I’m just choosing to push the negativity aside and move on.
Things change…the key is to keep myself together until they do.
Remember you choose your thoughts.
There isn’t much we can control in life and your thoughts is one of the most important ones that you can. Control your mind… that’s the goal, not sure if I’ll ever reach that goal but I will continue to try.
So I’m 32 years old and delightfully chaotic. I’m okay with this.
XO – JC