Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.
Goodness. Deep…and it should be – forgiving is the ultimate act us humans can do.
Forgiveness also has to come in your own time. No one else’s, YOUR OWN time. Shit I didn’t forgive someone for 3 years and that was okay for me.
Maybe you felt inadequate, unlovable, sad…but guess what, no one should allow you to feel this way so the biggest realization is having to forgive yourself for letting them break you down. That’s the big piece we forget most during the process, you allowed it therefore you have to forgive yourself first.
Try this, close your eyes and let your mind become engulfed in unpleasant memories, shitty emotions and the feelings you covered for so long. Forgive yourself then bring in the person that you ALLOWED …and forgive that person too.
I’m no expert and no I haven’t forgiven everyone that I need to… I’m actually currently working on forgiving a very important person to me but hitting roadblock after roadblock. But the one message I get over & over again is that we MUST FORGIVE, we must let go of the anger and resentment.
Now fast forward – how do we know if we have indeed forgiven? Is it when you don’t want to hurt that person the same way they hurt you? Or is it when it leaves your subconscious mind as though you had amnesia?